Everyday I'm Strugglin'

Day 9:


Okay, so the title is a play on the song, "Everyday I'm Shuffling." I thought it was a good way of how to describe my day today. 


I don't know what is going on. This morning was bad. Maybe I am getting tested? I really do think too much. The spiritual warfare was back, strong. No motivation this morning. However, I still persevered. I feel like yelling at what is happening to me. It makes me sick that I have to put the armor of God on everyday. How can I live like this?


I woke up and turned my computer on and read Luke 7. I believe and know the war is being won by ushering Jesus in and filling up my space with Him and crouching out the bad guy.


I have been asking myself a lot of questions lately. Why do I have to struggle with this? I know it's not my fault. Is it a test? Do I just keep failing? Why do I keep doubting my strength?


I know if I am weak, God's power is made perfect in my weaknesses. So in all actuality I am strong. Today I struggle with feeling weak and tired. God says if you are weak and tired, go to Him and He will give you rest. I know I am having trouble with letting go. This gives me good opportunity to let go and just rest in his spirit. Its a good possibility the reason why I am struggling is because I won't let go and trust that God will take care of me. Everyday is a new opportunity to start the day out right, to lay everything at the feet of Jesus. I don't know what will happen, but He does! I don't know how it will end, but He does. I find comfort in these realizations and the fact that I have another chance to try again tomorrow.


I wanted to add in an inspirational quote I found on pinterest.

Also two scriptures, that help remind me that God does the fighting for us.

"The LORD will fight for you, and you have only to be silent." Exodus 14.14 (ESV) 

"Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you where ever you go." Joshua 1.9 (ESV)

So today I may have struggled, but I have learned an important lesson. It's easier to step back and let God fight for us, instead of trying and doing it by yourself. Who is stronger than God? No one. I just have to keep remembering that my God created the whole universe and who is bigger than Him? No one!


I am not going to end on a bad note. In other news, I am really proud of myself for kicking out 6 more pages of notes and studying for the NBCOT for roughly 3 hours today. I know and praise God for my work, because without Him, I would have stayed in bed all day. 


Lord,
Today, I praise you for this day! I praise you for the overcoming willpower to leave the house and study for 3 hours. I praise you that while I put on the armor of God, you always are ready to fight my battles. I pray for my friends that you continue to protect them this week as big decisions are being made for you. I am so excited to be able to rest in your presence and be renewed in your Spirit. Again I praise you for this day. I pray for protection tonight for my dreams and when I wake in the morning. As always, I pray all these things in your name.


Amen.