21 days: Change of Heart

Day 1:


I am marveled at how God works sometimes, okay all the time. He is wonderful, don't you agree?


My church together is collectively fasting together for 21 days. 


I won't go too much into the details of my life. These past few months, I have been dealing with spiritual warfare, constantly. My only relieve is when I am at church or with a group of fellow believers. I wake up every morning reminded of it, and go to bed with it on my mind as well. Let me tell you it down right sucks. But the truth that GOD never leaves me carries me through the day. It's a daily struggle to not give in and up. I am so thankful for my friends, who are with me and praying for me every day.


Today, I was eating lunch with a friend and then after she left, I started to study for my NBCOT exam. I have found out that focusing is not one of my strong suits and I get really tired after studying for only a couple hours. Today was also the day that God shook me, you know the feeling where God takes you by the shoulders and says, "Get a hold of yourself!" That was me today. Well I needed it. A good friend gave me the speech Sunday night and well it hadn't sunk in. I tend to over-think things, and over analyze. 


I believe in my heart I have lost my passion. Really just lost it or possibly have misplaced it. However God gave me a great idea to work on for the next 21 days, I am going to fast from being negative. I am going to work on earnestly praying, and reading the Bible daily. These last two things have nearly been absent in my life. I will pray when people ask me to, but when it comes down to it, I have a hard time just saying what is on my heart. I am afraid that what I say won't be well versed or I will say something wrong. Well I am taking a stand! It doesn't matter what I say, because God loves me the same anyways.


Also so I am accountable I will blog for the next 21 days of my progress and my thoughts and feelings over the next few weeks.


Today I choose to live! I choose light over being trapped in the darkness. 


Lord,
I pray for anyone who reads this that they find hope in You. Just like I found hope in You. I love you so much and am so grateful for your love and mercy. I am so glad for the friends you have placed in my life. Please help guide me through the next 21 days on what you want me to learn. Also thank you for never leaving me or forsaking me. You are the light in the darkness ALWAYS! I pray for all those that are hurting that they will find your love and mercy to be a guiding light. I pray all these things in your name.


Amen.