So-So

Day 16:


If there was a better way to describe the day. "So-so" would have to be it. I had a bad night, well not exactly bad, but I was awaken at 5am and 6am. I am so glad I am not working tonight.


Today, and yesterday I had late starts at studying. Boy, do I hate when my mornings are thrown off. Today I could tell I would be especially lazy, just because of my night last night. I fought it off, showered and headed out the door by a little after 1pm. Arrived at Arby's by 1:30pm and studied till 5pm. Even then I was so discouraged and didn't want to study.


I even described my study time today as going to the dentist and getting teeth pulled with no pain medications. If you know me I hate the dentist. It was a very hard day for studying. But I pressed on and was able to get all of Chapter 9 completed.


Here I am sitting on my bed as I type this, and am surrounded by a mess. Like my room and my studies today, I don't want to do anything. I hope I can overcome this funk so I can wake up tomorrow.


I don't know what is going on. I feel somewhat like the calm before the storm, let's hope that is false. I would hate to lose it the rest of this week. I usually can't control those types of emotions once they are unleashed. 


I apologize that this post is a little down-casted. I'm tired and just feeling not so positive tonight. I really hope this changes. I know God will be there to lift my spirits. He is stronger when we are weak. He loves us and gives us hope and encouragement. With just writing this statement, God sent me a smile. How I love God-filled surprises.


Even with despair and darkness, God always brings hope and the light to shine through any darkness. I will always lean on that truth, that God never gives up and wants to see his children happy.


Lord,
I praise you for this day. Thank you for showing me the light at the end of the tunnel. You are always so good to me, even when I am having a bad day. Thank you for giving me the strength to study today, and to fight the battles of discouragement. I am so happy that you are there for me, and stay beside me and want the best for me, including my happiness. I pray for my friends health and that they continue to stay encouraged the rest of the week in their jobs or at school. Thank you again for them. I pray all these things in your name.


Amen.

Let It Burn! (in a good way)

Day 15:


Over the past two weeks I have been learning a lot about myself and my relationship with God. God has even showed me a lot and I have even heard God speak to me. It is such a rare occurrence, but I want more of it. :) Even last night God showed me how blessed I was. My friend was baptized as I mentioned from yesterday's post. I have seen other baptisms, heard other testimonies, but none has moved me or meant more to me than this one did. I can't explain why I feel this, but God is so good and I can't imagine my life without this person. I know its all God. Through Him, she encourages me and makes me happy. I am so glad the enemy never won.


I asked this question on facebook today, what do you do when someone says you can't do something? Answer, prove them wrong. That's when I realize that God wants that fire to combat the evil one. How cool is that realization?


I believe my passion is coming back. It's so exciting. After praying yesterday, I could feel the presence of God grow stronger, now that's what I call the power of prayer. I love my brothers and sisters! I feel so empowered by yesterday.


Also with this new found (again) strength I have realized the difference between spiritual warfare and just plain laziness, either of which aren't good, but I am glad for the ability to distinguish when one is coming into play.


I am so glad God is taking hold of my life and setting it ablaze. Before I felt like a little flame, in the darkness, but now am feeling much bigger and brighter. 


Here is a song, that is an oldie, but a goody. It was always my favorite.

Anyways, God always surprises me, because this in not the direction I was going with this post. But I love it despite the change. He is so good all the time and all the time He is good. 


Lord,
I praise you for this day! IT was a great day. You helped me triumph over the darkness and beat the "Monday blues" today. Like in the song, God set our hearts on fire and shed your light into the darkness. Set my life ablaze, I want to be an example for others. You are an amazing teacher. Help remind me that you are here to reignite my passion. Thank you for giving me so many blessings. I pray that you continue to show me how to be a fire for you. I pray for my friends that you continue to show them how to set their hearts on fire too. You are an amazing God! I pray all these things in your name.


Amen.

Healing Waters

Day 14:


Today in church, the pastor discussed how God is the true healing water as evidenced by John chapter 5.There were three main points but for this post will only focus on one, today. The three points are Christ cures, Christ creates conspiracy and Christ's claim to be the Messiah. The one I am going to focus on is Christ cures, which is based off of verses 1-16 in chapter 5 of John. I'll post it below for reference.

After this there was a feast of the Jews, and Jesus went up to Jerusalem. Now there is in Jerusalem by the Sheep Gate a pool, in Aramaic called Bethesda, which has five roofed colonnades. In these lay a multitude of invalids—blind, lame, and paralyzed. One man was there who had been an invalid for thirty-eight years. When Jesus saw him lying there and knew that he had already been there a long time, he said to him, “Do you want to be healed?” The sick man answered him, “Sir, I have no one to put me into the pool when the water is stirred up, and while I am going another steps down before me.” Jesus said to him, “Get up, take up your bed, and walk.” And at once the man was healed, and he took up his bed and walked.  Now that day was the Sabbath. So the Jews said to the man who had been healed, “It is the Sabbath, and it is not lawful for you to take up your bed.” But he answered them, “The man who healed me, that man said to me, ‘Take up your bed, and walk.’” They asked him, “Who is the man who said to you, ‘Take up your bed and walk’?” Now the man who had been healed did not know who it was, for Jesus had withdrawn, as there was a crowd in the place. Afterward Jesus found him in the temple and said to him, “See, you are well! Sin no more, that nothing worse may happen to you.” The man went away and told the Jews that it was Jesus who had healed him. And this was why the Jews were persecuting Jesus, because he was doing these things on the Sabbath.

John 5.1-16

Today the sermon hit home, and it was so good! The story explained how a man thought he could be healed by getting into the pool of water, yet he had the living water himself right in front of him. Amazing story! Anyways that isn't the point, at the end of the message, my pastor asked two questions, about if we had any sin that we haven't repented or any hurts that need to be healed. He asked us to stand up in front of the church family if we fell into one of the two categories. I wanted to stand up so bad, but I was scared. Do you know that feeling? I finally gathered the courage to stand up. The courage I know now, that came from God. I heard his voice so strongly in my head saying, stand up. Then my pastor said to those still sitting to pick someone who was standing to pray for them this week, then he had the surrounding people pray for us. I started crying, even as the last song played. I knew the song by heart, so even though I was crying, I could have my eyes closed and still sing the song. I can't even begin to explain how awesome that feeling was.


I had the courage to stand. Do you?


Tonight, one of my best friends was baptized! I was so excited and nervous for her. She did great giving her testimony. I cried, but they were happy tears. I love her so much. The celebration service was awesome, very uplifting and encouraging. I even had a few people pray over me. Its scary to talk about the struggles going on right now. Overall I was encouraged and my paths were made straight, because of the people who prayed for me. It was so great! They helped me separate the truth from the lies. I am so thankful for them.


Lord,
I praise you for this day. I praise you for the courage to stand in front of my family and obey your will. You know that I was afraid, but I still listened to what you said to me. I love you so much. I want to pray for those who are fasting and that they continue to stay encouraged on the last week stretch. Thank you for always being my comfort. I want to praise for the life that was lifted up to you tonight as she followed in obedience and took that step of faith. I pray for healing for all those that stood up in church today. I pray for revival in the coming weeks for the all church journey. I praise you for those that lifted me up tonight because they are your servants and some of my greatest friends, that you have blessed me with. Thank you again! I pray all these things in your name.


Amen.

Baptism Basics

Day 13:


God totally gave me this topic for today. I have been meaning to discuss it, but it kept getting pushed on the back burner. But God always brings things to the forefront.


I love God and how he brings people back to Him. One of those ways is through baptism. Baptism is a step of faith. You will never have the same relationship with Jesus after you take this step. Its amazing! It's like you are getting married to God, well sorta. There is more of a responsibility to act out in faith and strive to be more like Jesus. I take it as a commitment. I was baptized on October 9th, 2008. I didn't take the decision lightly. I believe God was moving me to be baptized, and even cooler he spoke to me through a song. The song was by Dierks Bentley called, "Soon as you can." Best song ever, and like I said in one of my earlier posts, some songs can be made into God songs. This definitely was a God song, because it brought me home.


I will talk more about this tomorrow, but one of my best friends is getting baptized tomorrow night. To say the least I am so excited! God foretold me this was going to happen months ago through a dream. I love when things happen for His glory.

Today was a good day. I hung out with my friends, and had an awesome conversation with one of them. I have a lot of things to think about now. But they are good Godly things to think about. To say the least, it left my heart very happy. 

Lord,

I praise you for today. You gave me a lot to think about today. I thank you for all the opportunities I had to have great conversations, which then lead to conversations about you. I thank you for bringing a smile on my face with that crazy funny dream last night. I praise you that you listen to me when I speak to you. I praise and will continue to praise you for fighting my battles and my friend's battles. I again thank you for blessing me with the friends that I have. I pray that you continue to be with my friends as they bring glory to your name tomorrow, as big decisions are being made for you. I pray all of these things in your name.

Amen.

Encouragement and Hope

Day 12:

Despite having an off the wall dream, my night was pretty good. I was excited about a friend coming into town the next morning (today). I had so much planned for day. Lots of surprises. After I picked my friend up from our mutual friend's house. We went to my dad's and started our baking fiasco. We started cooking the chili, which was a total surprise to my dad. We also made homemade ice cream sandwiches from Oreo cookie pop-tarts and Oreo cookie ice cream and peanut butter cup chocolate cookies. They were both a big hit at the women's night event tonight. It made me super happy, a total mood booster.

Tonight, the main devotion was about hope. We discussed Romans 5:1-11 (ESV).

Therefore, since we have been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ. Through him we have also obtained access by faith into this grace in which we stand, and werejoice in hope of the glory of God. Not only that, but we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, andhope does not put us to shame, because God's love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.

For while we were still weak, at the right time Christ died for the ungodly. For one will scarcely die for a righteous person—though perhaps for a good person one would dare even to die— but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us. Since, therefore, we have now been justified by his blood, much more shall we be saved by him from the wrath of God. For ifwhile we were enemies we were reconciled to God by the death of his Son, much more, now that we are reconciled, shall we be saved by his life. More than that, we also rejoice in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have now received reconciliation.

 These verses discuss how hope is a joyful and confident expectation of eternal salvation. Such a good topic since I have been discouraged this week and having not so great dreams.

She also included my all time favorite scripture, which is Isaiah 40:30-31(ESV).

Even youths shall faint and be weary, 

and young men shall fall exhausted;

but they who wait for the LORD shall renew their strength; 

they shall mount up with wings like eagles; 

they shall run and not be weary; 

they shall walk and not faint.

I just love this promise and I also love eagles! God is so great. So in my other post I mentioned that I was thankful for Godly men in my life. I had texted them and they will be praying over me on Sunday night. I am so grateful. One of those men, gave me some scripture to review. I thought they were very encouraging, so I will add them in this post.

Little children, you are from God and have overcome them, for he who is in you is greater than he who is in the world. 1 John 4.4 (ESV) 

 I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world. John 16.33 (ESV)

I found these encouraging because they are truths I have been needing to hear.God is so good! Sometimes He has to talk through people we look up to, to better encourage us.

Lord,

I praise you for this day. I am so thankful for my friends. You have given me a good bunch to hangout with. I want to thank you for giving my friend from Flint the opportunity to come over, bake and hangout with us. Thank you for giving me energy to completes today's tasks. I love you so much. Thank you for giving people the words to encourage me and give me hope. I pray that my friends continue to stay encouraged as big decisions are being made for you this weekend. I am so excited for the things you have planned. Please remind me to be patient and not get easily discouraged this coming weekend and week ahead. I pray all these things in your name.

Amen.

Lean on Him

Day 11:

This morning, I want to thank God for unwelcomed surprises, because I was having a very disturbing dream and my friend woke me up when she texted me back from a question I had sent the night before. I thanked her profusely. Besides that I woke up with a smile and a song on my heart. That song was, "Lean on me" by Bill Withers. I'm not sure if I am the only one who does this or not, but sometimes I take non-Christian songs and think of as Christian songs. Like I see if somehow the lyrics can be used as if it were about God. Well it works for "Lean on me."

Lyrics of  Lean on Me include:

Sometimes in our lives

We all have pain

We all have sorrow

But if we are wise

We know that there's always tomorrow

So the first part of the song, talks about the trials and tribulations we go through and we have second chances with a brand new tomorrow.

Lean on me, when you're not strong

I'll be your friend

I'll help you carry on

For it won't be long

'Til I'm gonna need

Somebody to lean on

I believe this morning, when God sent me these lyrics. That He will be there for us. He wants us to lean on Him, because He is strong to hold our burdens. He knows we aren't strong.

Please swallow your pride

If I have things you need to borrow

For no one can fill those of your needs

That you won't let show

We all struggle with pride, we need to humble ourselves and ask God for help.

You just call on me brother, when you need a hand

We all need somebody to lean on

I just might have a problem that you'd understand

We all need somebody to lean on

Call on God and He will help solve all our problems. He will understand He has been there, believe it or not. The world tells us to be strong for ourselves, but let me tell you it is so much easier to rely on the creator of the universe. We were not made to worry and to carry the world, but Jesus was.

If there is a load you need to bear

That you can't carry

I'm right up the road

I'll share your load

If you just call me

God will always be there for us. All we need to do is call on Him and He will take care of us.

Jesus even declares, "Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.  Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light." Matthew 11:28-30 (ESV)

Then I ended up going to my friend's house to study. I studied for 4-5 hours, was able to get a lot accomplished and finished the night out with one of my new favorite movies, Courageous. One of my friends received some awesome news that she will be serving this summer in Bolivia for 3 months. I am so excited for her. It is such a great opportunity and learning experience.

Lord,

I praise you for today. You are simply amazing. I thank you so much for waking me up with a song in my heart and showing me that I can lean on you. You are the one I can trust and gain rest in. I am so excited to be with you today and learn from your Word. I pray that you continue to give me clarity throughout this confusion. I praise you for the Godly men in my life and that they are willing to pray with me Sunday. I pray that you continue to bless my friends and to continue to encourage them. I pray all these things in your name.

Amen.

Lord, I need you!

Day 10:


Wow! What a day! 


So much to be thankful for and it started the moment I opened my eyes. Everyone can be thankful that they are alive. Well that is me today. Despite having lack of sleep, I still praised God. Today, I enjoyed being the hands of God. I went to my church and put stamps on envelopes. I also made copies and used the paper cutter to separate the copies. It was fun. I was even given my own little office to do my tasks, that was cool. I even talked to the music director and had him email me the songs from Christmas Eve. Yes one specific song made that much impact, that I had to ask. 


But I am getting ahead of myself, while I was on my way to the church, I went past an accident in my home town. In that moment, I was so thankful I was safe, and that God always protects. I am glad that the police, EMT, and firefighters. It made me happy that those people were well taken care of, but also secretly that God had a hand in this as well. I am not sure if the people in the car were believers, but I hope their world was shaken today and makes them think a little more.


Then I saw a hawk sitting on a highway sign, while traveling down the road. I always take seeing a bird, like a hawk or an eagle as a sign of God. They are such glorious creatures anyways. Then to make my day even more interesting, I pass a semi, with scripture on it. I didn't see what it said exactly but I want to say it was, "for God so loved the world that He gave his only begotten son..." How can these signs not make someones heart happy?

Above is the song, that I heard at the Christmas Eve service, that I love. It is called, "Lord, I need you" by Chris Tomlin. I hope you enjoy it as much as I do.


So I have been really confused lately as evidenced by yesterday's post, which was really scattered. Thankfully I had a few people praying for clarity. Praise God it worked! There is still things I am unsure of, but its not like the chaos and confusion of yesterday. But I choose not to worry about yesterday, that is in the past, and from my pastor's sermon on Sunday, know that my past doesn't define me or disqualify me from God's grace. I also wanted to share that I have been down on myself. Yesterday was one of those days, the spiritual warfare was really getting to me, and I didn't feel beautiful. I know its silly to say, because God tells us we are beautiful. Beauty isn't skin deep.


Lord,
I praise you for today. You are simply amazing. Thank you so much for always protecting me, and always loving me. Thank you for telling me that I am beautiful. Thank you for giving me all those signs today, that showed me your great love and mercy for us. I know I need you right now, please continue to guide my steps and calm my anxieties and fears. I pray that my friends continue to stay encouraged by your Spirit. I pray all these things in your name.


Amen.

Everyday I'm Strugglin'

Day 9:


Okay, so the title is a play on the song, "Everyday I'm Shuffling." I thought it was a good way of how to describe my day today. 


I don't know what is going on. This morning was bad. Maybe I am getting tested? I really do think too much. The spiritual warfare was back, strong. No motivation this morning. However, I still persevered. I feel like yelling at what is happening to me. It makes me sick that I have to put the armor of God on everyday. How can I live like this?


I woke up and turned my computer on and read Luke 7. I believe and know the war is being won by ushering Jesus in and filling up my space with Him and crouching out the bad guy.


I have been asking myself a lot of questions lately. Why do I have to struggle with this? I know it's not my fault. Is it a test? Do I just keep failing? Why do I keep doubting my strength?


I know if I am weak, God's power is made perfect in my weaknesses. So in all actuality I am strong. Today I struggle with feeling weak and tired. God says if you are weak and tired, go to Him and He will give you rest. I know I am having trouble with letting go. This gives me good opportunity to let go and just rest in his spirit. Its a good possibility the reason why I am struggling is because I won't let go and trust that God will take care of me. Everyday is a new opportunity to start the day out right, to lay everything at the feet of Jesus. I don't know what will happen, but He does! I don't know how it will end, but He does. I find comfort in these realizations and the fact that I have another chance to try again tomorrow.


I wanted to add in an inspirational quote I found on pinterest.

Also two scriptures, that help remind me that God does the fighting for us.

"The LORD will fight for you, and you have only to be silent." Exodus 14.14 (ESV) 

"Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you where ever you go." Joshua 1.9 (ESV)

So today I may have struggled, but I have learned an important lesson. It's easier to step back and let God fight for us, instead of trying and doing it by yourself. Who is stronger than God? No one. I just have to keep remembering that my God created the whole universe and who is bigger than Him? No one!


I am not going to end on a bad note. In other news, I am really proud of myself for kicking out 6 more pages of notes and studying for the NBCOT for roughly 3 hours today. I know and praise God for my work, because without Him, I would have stayed in bed all day. 


Lord,
Today, I praise you for this day! I praise you for the overcoming willpower to leave the house and study for 3 hours. I praise you that while I put on the armor of God, you always are ready to fight my battles. I pray for my friends that you continue to protect them this week as big decisions are being made for you. I am so excited to be able to rest in your presence and be renewed in your Spirit. Again I praise you for this day. I pray for protection tonight for my dreams and when I wake in the morning. As always, I pray all these things in your name.


Amen.

To Walk on Water

Day 8:


I have thought long and hard about what to write today. God always surprises me with fresh ideas and what to finally end up saying. Today I met a friend and we studied, on the way there I heard this song in the car, called "Beauty of the cross" by Jonny Diaz. I want to share that video with you.

It is so inspiring. It made me want to dance, and that says a lot because I don't really care for dancing. I also believe that God made this divine appointment for me to study with my friend. He listened to me, and shared what has been going on his life. I believe some of the words were really meant for me to hear specifically. God is just unbelievable some days where I am so blessed to get to know Him better. That includes through my friends. :)


I want to explain more on why I chose the title of my post today. First I believe God has been laying it on my heart lately. Second, I believe it ties in with another couple of issues I am dealing with, trust and spiritual warfare. First, can you imagine being in the middle of the boat with Jesus? Second, can you imagine Him asking you to get out of the boat and walk on water? I ask you these things, because I have been asking myself these same questions. The first one is easy, because I would love to be anywhere with Jesus. The second one is a little harder to answer, only because it takes trust to walk out there. I have big issues with trust. I have been working on them, and you know first hand if you are my friend.


My thoughts wander to the thought of me standing out on the water with Jesus. Trusting Him. Loving Him. Being with Him. Just like we are the only two on the planet. I believe where my fear comes in is the part of keeping my eyes on Him. Let me tell you God is working on me hard on this issue. I believe that the reason spiritual warfare plagues me so much is that I take my eyes off of Jesus and I start sinking into the water. How scary? Right? Except all you have to do is to turn your gaze back towards Jesus. He will take care of us. He will take care of you.


Today I read Luke 6 and it encouraged me. It encouraged me just how a parent should. Imagine God encouraging you with these words.

"And he lifted his eyes on his disciples, and said:
'Blessed are you who are poor, for yours are the Kingdom of God. Blessed are you who are hungry now, for you shall be satisfied. Blessed are you who weep now, for you shall laugh.'"

          Luke 6: 20-21


Doesn't that make your heart smile? It makes mine smile. These are promises that He is blessing us with. If we are sad, we will laugh. How great is that? I hate being sad, and I love to laugh. What a great gift!


Lord,
I praise you for this day. I know it didn't start out on the right foot, but you turned into a great learning experience. Thank you so much for giving me the opportunity to spend time with my brother in Christ. You always know what I need and what I need to hear at the best opportune times. I pray that you continue to work on my heart and continue to teach me to trust you. I am willing and I know you are able. Thanks for giving us your word and the promises it showed me today. I always enjoy when you make my heart smile. I praise you for dying on the cross, and that I continue to remember how beautiful that sacrifice truly was. I pray all these things in your name.


Amen.

Footsteps

Day 7:


Today I went to church. God is always so good, and gave the best sermon today. I am also glad I read the chapter before hand about how God is the living water. I loved how He is so patient with us when we don't understand what he is trying to teach us. He doesn't give up on us.

Walking on a beach some time ago, I was impressed by footprints. It struck me that I could not see them while walking forward. It was only when looking back, that I saw my imprints. Turning around I noticed the shape of my high-stepping prints that had moved through loose sand. Other steps turned to avoid rocks, and had been distorted by a wave. Sometimes they moved in straight even lines; other times they were wiped clean by the incoming tide. So what's the big deal? It's only when we look back that we have the ability to see God's footprints too and appreciate where He has taken us. 

My mind went back to earlier points in life. I had not taken the time to track my personal path as I moved from a young adult into a profession, marriage, and parenthood. A move here, a loss there, and a drastic detour did not seem like God's direction. Along the way I encountered physical illness, loss of self esteem, and death of a dream.These issues looked like defeating, devastating wrong turns taking depressingly off track. 

Only in retrospect when looking back at each move did I discover that the wrong turns were used as a part of God's divine plan. If I've learned any lesson from footprints, it's to journal consistently, hold steady, and persevere even when the curve in the road is not what I expected. Then look back and be prepared to see the footprints of a sovereign God, taking me where I could never have dreamed to walk. 

Taken from the Overflowing study guide for Jan. 22, 2012

I thought it was really inspiring, so I wanted to add it in today's post.


At church there was a very encouraging video about two women's pasts on abortion. I don't know what else to say but I guess you had to be there. The stories were amazing and just proved the below two points.


Also at church I learned two key points.

1. Our past does not disqualify us from God's grace.

2. Our past can be used for God's glory.

Tonight I went to life group at my pastor's house. We all shared about our week, and I shared how God moved me this week and that I am blogging about it. While sitting there and listening to my friends talk, some of my past resurfaced. I am not entirely sure why, but will be praying about it.


Lord,
I praise you for this day. I praise you for the understanding of others. I praise you that our past doesn't disqualify us from Your grace and that it can be used for Your glory. I am so thankful for the friends in my life that you have blessed me with. I pray that you will give me the understanding about the past that has  resurfaced tonight. I know you will, you always do. Thank you for your spirit moving me. I pray for my friends tonight and healing for their hearts. I pray all these things in your name.


Amen.

Recharging

Day 6:


Today was a recharge day. I love these days. No expectations, nothing really going on and if I want to, can lay in my bed all day. I had a long night. I had the night shift at my house, watching the old people at night from 8pm to 8am. If you don't know already, my mom owns and runs an adult foster care home. It's always an adventure around here. I don't sleep very well when I watch the house and it was especially quiet last night. I had to go down and investigate. Around 3am I walked downstairs to find Margie sitting in a chair in the living room, I brought her back to her bed and then tucked her in under the covers. She was so grateful. I love her nature. She also has a great love for God. I know that even when she is upset I can always talk to her about how God is strong and mighty in every situation. Plus she is the one that taught me that. :)


I deemed today a recharge day. I usually need it after a long week of studying. God is so grateful! He gave me the opportunity to have a day of rest and recharge, which is important for introverts. I also was able to catch up on the sleep I missed from last night. God always surprises me. He is so good to us. Always remember that.


Today I also read Numbers 12 and Luke 4. I think it is really cool that God speaks in both passages. 


I must praise God for already these amazing 6 days. I will tell you why. First I have felt plagued for a long time with spiritual warfare and Satan playing with my thoughts and sending me not very nice images. Like the devil would play nice anyways. It has been so nice being warfare free. God is so good. With the exception of a couple times during the week and last night, I haven't felt the temptation or presence of the spiritual warfare. If you have never experienced spiritual warfare, it's hard to explain, but it leaves you powerless. I just need to remember that when I am weak, God is strong, and made perfect in my weakness.


Lord,
I praise you for today. It was amazing. You always know what I need, such as a day of rest and an opportunity to recharge my energy. I enjoyed reading your word and learning about your faithfulness and your son, Jesus. I praise you that throughout the last 6 days of making my life more comfortable. You have shown me through trusting you, that all things are provided and taken care of, including spiritual warfare. I am so gracious for you coming into my life and healing my broken spirit. I pray that whomever reads this, overcomes with encouragement and understanding of your Spirit. I pray all these things in your name.


Amen.

The Missing Links

Day 5:


You have to have FAITH! I know its hard for me to admit this, but I am sure other people struggle with it too. Some days I have tons of faith, when others I don't. 


This morning is a great example of how God cares for me. The day was supposed to start early for me, by waking up at 8:30am, but God is grateful. My mom texted me early this morning and moved back getting together till 11:30am. I was able to sleep in longer and take my time waking up, which I enjoy thoroughly.


But this isn't just a post about faith, its about missing the signs when God is trying to speak to you. I did it. Let me tell you when I finally realized what was going on, God was no longer whispering. The world is a busy place and loud. Boy, do I love how God sends signs to us. On Sunday, a bald eagle was spotted flying over in Dewitt. How cool is that? I love eagles! Partly for the reason that my favorite verse is Isaiah 40:31. Also God speaks through people you are close to. I also didn't understand what He was telling me until later. But why does it take so long to grasp? I wonder if its just me or if other people have a hard time realizing that God is making attempts to speak to you. One of the last signs was just an overall realization of the past signs, just like that "Aha moment." 


I know I have used the word, amazed a lot, but how well can you best describe the works of God than the word, amazed?


I have noticed that mornings continue to be a tough hill to climb. I have no motivation to get up, and it doesn't matter what is on the agenda for the day. The "meat" of the day is actually the only part of the day which I thoroughly enjoy because no real motivation is required. Of course, I give God all the praises, because He has blessed me with great friends and sometimes awesome distractions (ones that I welcome).  The nights are also sometimes troubling. I am alone physically, but spiritually I know I am not. However I forget sometimes that Jesus is with me all the time. 


Today, I got to spend the day with my mom. Not that I am envious, but am inspired to be like her. She wakes up every morning and spends time doing her devotions, and praying. I would like to be that motivated to wake up and be praising God and then end the day the same way. I don't want it to be a chore. I want to have that fire back.


Points to learn: Look for the opportunities that God gives you to learn and be gracious for every blessing.


Lord,
I praise you for this day. Thank you for giving me an opportunity to spend time with my mom. It has been long over due. I praise you for everything today, all the blessings you have bestowed upon me. Thank you for showing me many reasons to be grateful for your provisions, including a roof over my head and food to put on my table. Thank you so much. I love you always and you will be forever in my heart. I pray for those who have come to me with prayer requests. I pray for healing for those in need. I pray all of these things in your name.


Amen.

The Roots

Day 4:


So today, I caught myself in the middle of a sentence about saying something negative about myself. I tell you I don't even realize I am doing it. It just comes out. I have had a few realizations about this and possibly the root of why I do this to myself. I realize now that I under appreciate myself. I don't value myself. I don't see myself like others see me. Like I said in one of my first posts, you are your worst critic. I am my worst critic. This realization makes me just ponder when did my thinking first start like this. I don't know when it first started, that I started doubting my abilities, but it happened.


Those thoughts of inadequacy, it's what propels the spiritual warfare. It is what drives the negativity.


It's going to take more time to figure out the root of that issue. Till then, I'll be praying for God's healing and wisdom. He is one amazing and gracious God! 


I prayed today, nothing big, just for protection, while I was driving. I used to think of Jesus riding with me. I take it as a piece of comfort. Plus I always worship in the car. That is always my favorite part of riding in the car going places. My friend said today that music is like praying twice, because you are listening to worship music and singing at the same time. I am going to try real hard and work on praying out loud tonight.


I'm excited about this journey. It is only day 4 and I have already learned so much about myself and more importantly about God.


Lord, 
I praise you for today. It was a great day. I am so glad that you were a part of my day. I enjoyed hanging out and studying with you. Thank you for telling me I am worth more in your eyes than I think in mine. You are so gracious to me and I am very thankful for this. Tonight I pray for the ability to see how you see me. Thank you for being there always. I love you. I pray that everyone has a great day tomorrow and is inspired by the words that are written through YOU. I pray all these things in your name.


Amen.

True Test...No Sleep

Day 3:


Wow...what a night! I had every intention of going to bed early last night, but ended up turning everything off at a little before 1am. Then I just laid in bed waiting to fall asleep, but guess what? That didn't happen. I was awake on and off from 1am to 8:30am, then had to be up at 8:45am to get ready for the day. I had to be motivated to get things done.


Let me ask you something. Do you ever feel like Job from the Bible? He loses everything and is tested, yet he still praises God despite all the trials. Last night I felt like Job, like Satan was teasing me with the notion of will she still praise God with the lack of sleep? I wasn't happy, but I continued to get up and ready to serve the Lord. The agenda for today was go to church and help out for 3 hours and then go and hang out with a friend. That was the most productive 3 hours ever and during that time I was able to still worship God with music while I worked. There is so much that goes into getting things ready for Sunday worship and Sunday meetings. My heart enjoys volunteering because I feel if I needed help, someone would be there for me.


So back to the original point of this, being tired, I was definitely tested with feeling negative about myself. But those are the times I have to remember whose child I am. I am God's child. I was made to not be perfect. I was made to strive to be more like Jesus. I was crafted out of the likeness of God, yet I still have to be refined. Isn't Gods refinement process so awesome?


I finally caught up in the readings in John for church. It just amazes me how much God cares for the little guy. Even when we think we are insignificant, like the Samaritan woman, when Jesus was at the well. Instead of acting like a real Jewish man, (because Jews and Samaritans were not supposed to talk to each other) he spoke to her, and even that he asked her for water. But then he even goes beyond that, because He is testing her and then asks for living water. He is the true living water. He can subside all our thirst and all we need to do is believe in Him. Trust in Him and we won't be thirsty anymore. That's a truth we can all live by.


I also just started reading Luke with a friend from North Carolina. God is so amazing to give us people in our lives to share the life of Jesus and encourage us to keep up the faith. :)


The discussion of prayer came up today, and another realization surfaced. That realization was that I don't want to pray with empty words and promises. I want my prayers to mean something. I don't want to talk and ramble. I think that is a reason why I struggle with praying out loud. I also want to start praying at meal times, because I should be thankful for everything God gives me. 


Today I choose to cling to the cross.


Lord,
I thank you for this day. I thank you for everything that today held. I am thankful for the opportunity to serve you today. I am honored to have been able to be the hands and feet of Jesus today. I loved that I was able to spend some time with you while traveling in the car and resting in your presence as I read your word. You will and always amaze me! I praise you for tomorrow, because you know the future and I am excited for it to be revealed. Lastly, I thank you for continuing to be my protector, provider and Savior, without you I would be nothing. I pray all these things in your name.


Amen.

The First Step

Day 2:


They say the first step is the hardest. I would however have to disagree. The hardest part was not moving. It's simply amazing the feeling of moving forward. God is so amazing!


So for my first goal of being less negative. It was hard. Although I was able to recognize when the negative thoughts would pop in my head and try to persuade me that I am not good enough. But God tells me I am good enough! Don't let Satan get a foot hold in your life. Once he is in, its so hard to get rid of him. But remember as I have to also, that God is the light and he always shines and can remove the darkness from our lives.


Today I also read Numbers 8. I am reading Numbers with a friend in Ohio and this week the goal is to read to Chapter 12. I like being accountable to another person. In the end its rewarding because I am learning about God and fighting the complacency at the same time. There is no other way to fight being stagnant than with action!


I feel God moving me. Let me tell you I love that feeling! It has been so long that I have felt a passion in my life. I used to compare myself to myself from last year, and yes, I got jealous. I was jealous from the thought that I was more passionate last year. I had to stop myself in my tracks. I was getting down on myself for God refining me from my old self. Instead I should be looking at all the accomplishments I have completed over the past year. God is so great and as I have said before has blessed me a lot over these past couple years, even including just this month alone.


Prayer is still a struggle for me, but I continue to work on it. I have noticed that I don't really enjoy praying in public, which just means I will have to work on it. 


As I write this post, something has come back into my life, it's been missing for awhile, it's my smile and my laugh. :D


Lord,
I praise you for today. I praise you that you live in me. I praise you for being the light in my life. Thank you for giving me guidance while I studied today. Thank you for never giving up on me. I pray that those who are lost will be renewed in your Spirit. I was once lost, but now I am found. You are my Father and I am thankful every day that you welcome me with open arms. Jesus you are my one true love. I pray that all those who are searching, find rest in you, today, tomorrow, or tonight. I pray all of these things in your name.


Amen.

21 days: Change of Heart

Day 1:


I am marveled at how God works sometimes, okay all the time. He is wonderful, don't you agree?


My church together is collectively fasting together for 21 days. 


I won't go too much into the details of my life. These past few months, I have been dealing with spiritual warfare, constantly. My only relieve is when I am at church or with a group of fellow believers. I wake up every morning reminded of it, and go to bed with it on my mind as well. Let me tell you it down right sucks. But the truth that GOD never leaves me carries me through the day. It's a daily struggle to not give in and up. I am so thankful for my friends, who are with me and praying for me every day.


Today, I was eating lunch with a friend and then after she left, I started to study for my NBCOT exam. I have found out that focusing is not one of my strong suits and I get really tired after studying for only a couple hours. Today was also the day that God shook me, you know the feeling where God takes you by the shoulders and says, "Get a hold of yourself!" That was me today. Well I needed it. A good friend gave me the speech Sunday night and well it hadn't sunk in. I tend to over-think things, and over analyze. 


I believe in my heart I have lost my passion. Really just lost it or possibly have misplaced it. However God gave me a great idea to work on for the next 21 days, I am going to fast from being negative. I am going to work on earnestly praying, and reading the Bible daily. These last two things have nearly been absent in my life. I will pray when people ask me to, but when it comes down to it, I have a hard time just saying what is on my heart. I am afraid that what I say won't be well versed or I will say something wrong. Well I am taking a stand! It doesn't matter what I say, because God loves me the same anyways.


Also so I am accountable I will blog for the next 21 days of my progress and my thoughts and feelings over the next few weeks.


Today I choose to live! I choose light over being trapped in the darkness. 


Lord,
I pray for anyone who reads this that they find hope in You. Just like I found hope in You. I love you so much and am so grateful for your love and mercy. I am so glad for the friends you have placed in my life. Please help guide me through the next 21 days on what you want me to learn. Also thank you for never leaving me or forsaking me. You are the light in the darkness ALWAYS! I pray for all those that are hurting that they will find your love and mercy to be a guiding light. I pray all these things in your name.


Amen.

New Year, New Hope?

So it is the new year, in with the new and out with the old. God has been teaching me a lot of old things but in new ways already this year. 


I just want to say it has taken me a long time to write this post, God is so good and has blessed me with so much this year. 


On January, 1st, 2012, I listened to this message from God spoken through my pastor on the first Sunday of the new year. It was good.


Here is what I learned. One overall truth, our allegiance isn't to our earthly family, but to our heavenly family/Father. I have to remind myself about this more. :)


There is five good news for the new year, based off of John 2:1-12.
1. Jesus can perform a "miracle" in your life, such as when he turned the water into wine. The problem is we don't have a big God in our life, but a big ASK in our life. Start praying and God will change your life.
2. Jesus' joy never runs out. Wine=joy/celebration Jesus won't let the "wine" run out on your life. Jesus IS the life of the party. Joy is a fruit of the spirit, an inner peace and contentment that flows from Jesus.
3. Jesus will never let you down.

 Deuteronomy 31.6 "Be strong and courageous. Do not fear or be in dread of them, for it is the LORD your God who goes with you. He will not leave you or forsake you."

I will always be thankful for this truth because He is always there, when we are hurting in a valley or when we are in triumph on the mountain.

4. Jesus can eliminate your sin. The blood of Christ can cleanse our sins. He died up on the cross to save us, mere sinners and humans, so that we could have eternal life. 

5. Jesus wants to use you to accomplish His will.

What's the point of all this? The point wasn't the miracle, itself. It was a sign to manifest His story and help his disciples believe.

Two questions to ask yourself:

1. Will you let God have the glory in your life this year?

2. Will you believe in a BIG God this year?