Its been raining a few days this week and God has provided us with his eternal promise of a rainbow afterwards. I sometimes wonder after I cry and am sad for a few days, if there is a promise like a rainbow that would keep my mind from having emotional "floods."
God is so great. There once was a great flood. Noah built an ark and the rain lasted for 40 days and it covered the whole earth. He then after the flood gave us a promise of a rainbow that he would never flood the earth again. I want that promise with my life.
Today is day 23 of my fasting for Lent and it is getting so hard. I want everything that I can't have, facebook, candy, slushies, cookies, and chocolate. I just want to give up on everything. Studying isn't going very well. I am stressed out and overwhelmed.
I guess what my real fear is that I will fail, and it will all be for nothing.
Tonight, I went to see my friends at His House. I had missed the meeting but I definitely surprised them by walking in the door. I punched my friend in the shoulder and she thought it was the boy standing in line behind her. It was kind of funny. I don't know how I felt about going back. It was so overwhelming being there, but it was better than being home.
Other than feeling emotional, overwhelmed and stressed, I have been feeling the thoughts of being unworthy and not beautiful. I wish I could change this like the simple beauty of a rainbow that covers the sky after a spring time rain.
Sometimes riding out the pain will bring something beautiful. I am just waiting for the rainbow. I know God will always bring the best lesson out of this week I have been having. As always I am very thankful for my friends who keep me smiling and laughing.
Dear Jesus and fellow friends,
Thank you for being there and keeping me strong. I appreciate it.
Signed,
Nicole
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