Words Hurt

"Stick and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me." 

Have you ever heard that saying? I wonder who ever first said it because they were wrong. Words do hurt. 


Question: What hurts about your words?
Answers: The tone, how you say it, and the overall message your words form.


It is even how you say something that can hurt someone too. I know people say things that they don't mean. Sometimes the truth can come out harsher than what the person actually means to say it. 


Tone is also important because the tone sets the overall attitude of the conversation. That is why sometimes in text messages, emails or chat messages, people can read what you are trying to say in the wrong way. There is no inflection and way to hear how someone is actually conveying the message. 


I started this post because a few weeks ago, my mom and I were in a conversation and overall without saying it, stated that a dress wouldn't look good on me because I had a belly bulge. In other words, without coming out and saying it, that I was fat. I know that's not what she meant to say or even without saying it, but it hurt my feelings. 


Imagine this, squeeze some toothpaste out on your toothbrush and then try and put it back in the tube. Its impossible, right? Truth. The same thing is with our words. Once you say something, you can't take it back. You can't put the words back in your mouth any more than you can squeeze the toothpaste back into the tube.


I hate to admit it, but I have this bear that lives inside me and it only comes out when I get truly upset or backed into a corner. It's hard to keep it under control and sometimes it gets unleashed at not great times in my life. Sometimes I feel that God shows me under stress and times that I have trouble keeping my cool that he shows me that he is in control. I think it is funny that I think that I am the zookeeper of the bear, but I am wrong. It is God. He keeps me calm and peaceful. He feeds my bear and takes care of it, so it doesn't want to jump out in rage. I now realize the times that the bear "escapes," is when I am not relying on God and trusting in Him to take care of the situation.


Advice:

1. Don't be a crocodile! What do crocodiles do? They snap. So if you want to have a good conversation, don't be a crocodile. My friends and I have made up this saying if we start to get sassy too much, "Croc-it-down!" 
2. Watch your tone.
3. Watch for hidden messages. Say what you mean and mean what you say. 
4. Don't let the beast out.
5. In times of trouble, rely on God, He always has the best words to say.
6. When searching for the right words, turn to the Bible.

To all who read this, 

I pray that you don't get hurt by the words people say. I pray that you find hope in the Bible and encouragement by trusting and relying on God. Be careful what you say, and how you say it, you may be hurting someone with your words. Take my advice, and I will have to do so also. It could save someone from hurt feelings.

Signed,

Nicole

Tears and Rainbows

Its been raining a few days this week and God has provided us with his eternal promise of a rainbow afterwards. I sometimes wonder after I cry and am sad for a few days, if there is a promise like a rainbow that would keep my mind from having emotional "floods."


God is so great. There once was a great flood. Noah built an ark and the rain lasted for 40 days and it covered the whole earth. He then after the flood gave us a promise of a rainbow that he would never flood the earth again. I want that promise with my life.


Today is day 23 of my fasting for Lent and it is getting so hard. I want everything that I can't have, facebook, candy, slushies, cookies, and chocolate. I just want to give up on everything. Studying isn't going very well. I am stressed out and overwhelmed.


I guess what my real fear is that I will fail, and it will all be for nothing. 


Tonight, I went to see my friends at His House. I had missed the meeting but I definitely surprised them by walking in the door. I punched my friend in the shoulder and she thought it was the boy standing in line behind her. It was kind of funny. I don't know how I felt about going back. It was so overwhelming being there, but it was better than being home. 


Other than feeling emotional, overwhelmed and stressed, I have been feeling the thoughts of being unworthy and not beautiful. I wish I could change this like the simple beauty of a rainbow that covers the sky after a spring time rain.


Sometimes riding out the pain will bring something beautiful. I am just waiting for the rainbow. I know God will always bring the best lesson out of this week I have been having. As always I am very thankful for my friends who keep me smiling and laughing. 


Dear Jesus and fellow friends,
Thank you for being there and keeping me strong. I appreciate it.
Signed,
Nicole

Get Up Times 3

Get up, Get up, Get up!! You are beautiful and smart and awesome and you can do this!! God obviously has something awesome planned for you today if Satan's trying to steal your energy and motivation. Squish him to the ground and get up! :D


This was sent from my best friend encouraging me to get up one morning. Because Satan has me under his power and I need to take it back and give it to God. I would rather God be influencing me than Satan, wouldn't you too?


I am an encourager, but sometimes I need to be encouraged too. God is so wonderful because He gives us the people we need in our life in that moment. I am so thankful for that. 


That is all I really wanted to say today. Hope you stay encouraged and squish Satan because God is way bigger than him any day.

To lose my life?

So after leaving my friend's house Tuesday, this thought popped into my head, what if I lost my life tonight? I don't know if that meant actually literally losing my life or if it meant just spiritually losing it. I wish I knew what God was trying to tell me.


Its past the middle of the week, and to say the least this week has been trying. I am so tired of not having any respect. I don't want to scrap the whole week because I haven't experienced Thursday, Friday or the weekend yet.


I am tired of fighting and tired of losing. Tired of standing up for what is right, only to get knocked back down. I am tired of promises being broken and words being said with no real intentions behind it.

Whoever seeks to preserve his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life will keep it. 

Luke 17:33 

I am still wrestling with what this verse means.


So I slept on it, and this is what God told me last night. Maybe what I am tired of is what I have to get rid of. Maybe that's what losing myself means? Maybe it means that I have to let God be the one to fight and be the one that wins. He can stand up for me and He won't get knocked down. He is strong. He doesn't make promises, He can't keep. Proof is in the rainbow. :) 


I didn't want this post to be about dying but renewing my faith in him. 


I WANT TO LOSE MY LIFE! 


Because nothing is better than realizing that God has your back no matter what. People lie, cheat and steal. People hurt us. Do you see God doing that? The answer is no, because He is perfect.


Isn't God always great? He knows just what to say. He knows how to calm the troubled heart and loves me when I am feeling hurt and betrayed. Sometimes I imagine Him holding me close with my head on his chest and his arms wrapped around me. The place of comfort. That is where I want to be. Always.

Follow Me!

What do you first think of when you hear those words? Let me tell you I have been giving it a lot of thought. As a church we are going through this series, called “Not a Fan.” It’s been getting me thinking.

This verse came into mind, Luke 9:23, “If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me.” This verse was spoken by Jesus, to complete followers, not fans. One day I heard, “why are you denying me instead of yourself?” “You have this whole concept wrong.”

That was God given truth I needed to swallow. But also this question was brought up in life group on Sunday, if Jesus was standing in front of you right now at this very moment, and said, “Will you follow me?” I know the answer would be yes. The decision would be easy. I wouldn’t be one of the three examples he gives, like let me bury the dead or say goodbye. I don’t feel like there is anything holding me back. I believe the first excuse of burying the dead is a cop-out, because why would you give that chance to be with the One that loves you. I really don’t think they knew what they were saying. If Jesus was just another man, or friend, I could understand them saying that. But Jesus isn’t just another person; He is the Savior of the world.

I don’t feel like I have a solid relationship with my parents, so I wouldn’t have to say goodbye. I don’t need to bury the dead. I would gladly go. I currently have no job, but I know Jesus will provide. I am not tied down.

I can’t explain it, but I feel so much at peace. I know I am not fully surrendered, but I am working on being committed. God is so good and I know I am learning so much. Even in these past few weeks I have gained new wisdom from God.  That comes from being still and spending more time at His feet. I am very grateful to have this break and to continue loving God without distractions.

Is there anything holding you back? What would you say? Would you go and follow Jesus?

You know my answer, now I want to know yours.

Disconnected...

Some thoughts on giving facebook up till Easter and it hasn't even been two weeks of being disconnected. Lessons I should have learned before now, but God has finally shed some light on. How when you aren't on facebook in awhile, a couple things happen, 1: you aren't told what is going on (it's just assumed you know), 2: most of who you thought were your friends stop talking to you. If you aren't on facebook, its like you are dead to the world. I guess that's cool. Even people who I regarded as "best" friends, won't call or text, or return calls or texts.


I don't know if God is giving me this opportunity to examine my friendships, but it kinda seems that way, besides the point of spending more time with Him. It just makes me thing why I have certain friends if they can't communicate with me. 


Satan lately has been filling my head with these thoughts and its hard not to listen when truly some friends won't make that extra step towards communicating with me outside of facebook. The thoughts are as follows; 1: "You take too much energy to be friends with." Meaning: I'm too high maintenance to be someones friend. 2: "Can't you see that no one loves you; their actions prove enough." There are others but its hard to put into words.


I feel number one a lot, because I put in a lot of effort to be someones friend, but I don't see the effort in theirs. The hardest thing right now is deciding who to invest in or keep my investments in, and possibly pulling some investments out. I know with prayer God will give me the answers.


I am getting to the point where I am tired being the only one that tries, or feeling like I am. I am only speaking for myself and not the other person here, (obviously I can't read minds.) I am tired of calling and texting and getting nothing in reply. It is very frustrating. I am even giving up the opportunity to take cheap plane tickets and go anywhere on the east coast, well I possibly may use them to go to Florida, but plans aren't definite. I am not putting my hope in that. 


That's the other wisdom that God has showed me. I put so much hope and excitement into the possible interactions with my friends. I see in most situations it leads to much disappointment and sadness. Why would I put myself through this time and time again? Because I am the kind of person who tries to forgive in hopes that one day the other person will value our friendship as much as I do. I am trying to lean on God's truth and ask for strength because being rejected is a hard emotion to swallow. Now I know I can never know how Jesus felt exactly with being rejected by so many people he was trying to reach, but now I have somewhat of an idea. It hurts, and is not a pleasant experience.


Today I received an email from a friend and inside she talked about friends and included this forward. 

Why do I have a variety of friends who are all so different in character? How can I get along with them all? I think that each one helps to bring out a "different" part of me.
 With one of them I am polite. I joke with another friend.
 I sit down and talk about serious matters with one. With another I laugh a lot. I listen to one friend's problems. Then I listen to another one's advice for me.
 My friends are all like pieces of a jigsaw puzzle. When completed, they form a treasure box. A treasure of friends! They are my friends who understand me better than myself, who support me through good days and bad days. We all pray together and for each other.
 Real Age doctors tell us that friends are good for our health. Dr. Oz calls them Vitamins F (for Friends) and counts the benefits of friends as essential to our wellbeing. Research shows that people in strong social circles have less risk of depression and terminal strokes. If you enjoy Vitamins F constantly you can be up to 30 years younger than your real age. The warmth of friendship stops stress and even in your most intense moments it decreases the chance of a cardiac arrest or stroke by 50%.
 I'm so happy that I have a stock of Vitamins F!
 In summary, we should value our friends and keep in touch with them. We should try to see the funny side of things and laugh together, and pray for each other in the tough moments.

I thought it was very fitting for this post. I thank God for the friends He has given me and I am thankful for the opportunity to have the distinction of which ones are weeds and the others beautiful flowers. God made all and I am thankful for both types of friends. But if the master Gardener says its time to "weed", then as his servant gardener, then I will listen and obey.

Platypus Day!!!!

Happy Platypus Day everyone!


So I know God has plans and we may not always know them, but there is a reason none the less. My God is good.


I made plans with a friend to ride to East Lansing on the train to come for a visit. But the train was delayed. It was delayed for over two hours, and then I heard a knock on the door and was surprised to find my friend on the other side of the door. I was like, "Hello Friend!" 


My day consisted of eating one pancake, because we made exactly two. I prayed aloud for the food, and it was amazing. I am very thankful that God gave me the words to say. Then we hopped into the car to go to the earliest matinee and saw the Lorax. It was good, surprisingly musical. The theater was also filled with crying, little children, and no, I am not describing my friend. Haha :)


First I want to say I was so proud of my choices today. No popcorn or sweets. I even said no to pop at the movie theater. In case I was hungry I brought some nuts to snack on. I can't believe it has only been a week and I feel cut off from the world, and hungry all the time. 


Then my friend and I flew over to the Bird house and had homemade pizza, with homemade crust. We also played games, which were really fun. I have never played Fluxx before. Its interesting and the rules change every round. Another game I haven't played before was called Bezzerwizzer. It's a trivia game, which I found out I do really bad on.  Then we played a tantalizing round of Apples to Apples.


After the games we went to Jo-Ann's Fabrics. That was not as fun as the games, I was really tired and just wanted to go back and rest. 


Then we had dinner at Qdoba's. It was amazing. I love that kind of Mexican food. My friend had never seen Kung Fu Panda or Kung Fu Panda 2, so we watched them. She laughed and I was happy too.


It snowed, and not the kind of snow where it doesn't stick. Michigan's weather is so unbelievable sometimes.


If you are wondering, why I told you all this. I will tell you because God blessed me with this friend that loves me despite everything that went awry with our plans. God always had a Plan B. We had a fun time and we laughed and had God moments. 


To end this I will say, God always has the best in mind for us. How do I know you ask? I have been feeling down, and God brought me laughter and friends today. He gave me 2-3 hours of stimulation through games. He gave me an entertaining night of panda-monium. He gave me snow. He gave me peace and a quiet house to praise and worship Him.