Howling Good Time

It's February 29th 2012!  Woot!


This morning was incredible, must say that. I howled with my dog, Luke. It was epic! I love having that little moment with my dog. I will post a video to show his great talents. It also helped this morning that some sirens were off in the background and my dog doesn't like the noise, most likely due to the frequency. So I howled and then he did.

I love my dog. He is the best dog ever. Even in his old age, he is the most lovable dog. He now has arthritis in his left shoulder and no longer uses that leg to walk or run, or for stability. I love the fact that I can walk into the room and he will not only wag his tail but thump it loudly. For that I love him. 

You ask what's the point? I will tell you. Seven to eight years ago this month, I lost my very first best friend/dog, his name was Andrew. After Andrew died, I was terribly sad and God blessed me with Luke 3 weeks later. I needed a new friend and so did he. We are a good team and made our worlds whole again.

Also after Luke and I's moment, I got ready for the day and then left for church. Like every Wednesday, I enjoy spending time being the hands and feet of Jesus. The tasks vary but every week I look forward to going in and talking with the staff at the church and having mini adventures. My favorite part is learning more about the church's inner workings and sometimes I even get to have my own office sometimes.

After spending a few hours there, I went over to my friends. I had brought my lunch today. One chicken salad sandwich with mustard and a few vegetable crackers. I love spending time with this friend, because she always helps me put things in perspective. Most of the time I leave smiling. Today, I was on a time constraint, because I had to get back and take Luke to the vet. Don't worry, he is fine. He had to have a blood test in order to refill his pain medication. 

As a surprise, I took him to see my dad, who hasn't seen him in about a year. A lot has changed and he was surprised to see Luke's condition with his leg.

You may see a story about a girl and her dog. I see a story about how much God loves me that he gave me the best friend I needed to carry me through thick and thin, and back again. I am so blessed to have God in my life, along with Luke. 

I hope everyone has had a glorious Leap year day. Next one is in 4 years. Next year we should party it up! Thank you God for this awesome day and I pray for all my friends reading this that they will be encouraged and blessed by this message. 

My God is Awesome!

First I want to fill you in some things from this week. Wednesday, February the 22nd, began the first day of Lent. After much praying and being still with God, He showed me that I need to learn something this 40 days. Even though Lent is a catholic observance, I choose to observe it because I want to grow more in my faith with Jesus. So I set off on my journey with some limitations in my diet, which includes no beef or pork, no unhealthy snacks, no desserts, and limiting my caffeine intake to either one 20 oz or (2) 12 oz bottles. Also as I was pondering these decisions, I heard God speak to me. He told me that I was spending too much time on facebook. I was giving facebook more face time than I was spending with Him. I agreed and chose to spend the next 40 days being at the feet of Jesus instead of wasting my time on facebook.


I say the first few days of giving something up is always hard. The past few days have been a real eye opener and it was interesting to figure out what I can and can't eat. I hope this journey proves to be a really interesting one and that I learn a lot about Jesus and myself.


Let's catch up to today. Today is Saturday the 25th of February. I woke up this morning with a song on my heart, which inspired the title of this post. The song is called, "Awesome God" by Hillsong. Its an amazing song.  If you have never heard of it, you should look it up, right now. :)


Today I was given the opportunity to be the hands and feet of Jesus at an event called Food Drop. It's an event sponsored by the church of greater Lansing which provides a food box for families in need all over the mid-Michigan area. This year there were 3,080 families served and around 1000 volunteers. There was a rally before we departed Holt High School and part of my church's band played a few songs. It was an amazing time to be with all those people praising God. I got caught up by looking around at everyone as they sang. I saw this one woman dancing as she was worshiping. I saw children singing, and older adults there as well. It was just a sight to be seen and so many people there all in one place. As a part of Northpointe Community Church, I rode with my two friends, K.C. and Forrest and then later met up with Allie and we delivered 3 food boxes in St. Johns. It was an interesting trip and an adventure I will remember being with my friends for always.


So I call today a good day. I stopped by Panera and picked up some bagels for young adult group tomorrow. I met up with my dad and shared with him the day's events and then we went to Meijer's and picked up the rest of the healthy snacks for tomorrow night. I am pretty excited. Next to the worship band, fellowship with my friends is one of my favorite things to do. I am so happy that I am starting to be more still and can hear more of God's voice than Satan's. What a relief that is. Well I have to finish my devotions and reading God's word. I am learning so much already. I am currently reading Acts and Isaiah. I read a chapter a day in both books. I look forward to reading more and more about my Father. :)

"Holes"

While watching a few episodes of “The Mentalist” tonight, this thought revisited my head, of how lucky and grateful I am to know Jesus. This thought came into my head and it’s been swirling around for a while now. I decided to share what’s been swirling. Read on if you are interested.

First I am so grateful for Jesus. Not saying my life was hard before we met, but it wasn’t a walk in the park either. I guess this post is about my past, but also about what Jesus brought me out of. Let me tell you what I remember, first let me start with this little story.

Monday night of this week I had dinner at my mom’s house and we were taking a walk down memory lane. I was talking to her about some discussion questions that came up at my young adult group that past night. The main question I discussed was, “who helped you with your walk with Jesus?” At group I was at loss for words with this question, first everyone had answers, like my parents, or my mom, or my dad, but my answers didn’t stem from any of those. Yes, I had a different start to my walk with Jesus. It began in college at WMU and I was introduced to a man named Ben, through one of my Japanese friends that lived down the hall from me. My mom continued to talk about how interactions and such helped point me in the right direction.

But the point of this is, even now as I go back and search my memory, things are missing and I can never fully put the whole puzzle together. Now I don’t know if I am simply blocking something out or I can’t recall all of the information to put the pieces together. You would think that a person like me who thinks a lot would remember the small details. I mean I remember when a friend says they hate clowns or when they don’t like cottage cheese. It doesn’t make sense that I can’t recall the few details of my past, especially things that would seem to be so important to me.

There are other things too. No cause for alarm. God has me in such a peace right now, it’s hard to describe what I am about to say. Another question arose, a while back about anything in your past that has hurt you or anything that is a “hurt” in your life. I believe this question came up from the women’s retreat I went to in the beginning of February. Again I say this, that I cannot recall an exact time of being hurt. I know I have “hurts,” as we all do. Satan still tries to hold them over me. I cannot try and have you begin to understand what I am about to say, but I am at peace with my past. I don’t remember an exact time where I feel certain pains or hurts. Mostly for the reason I just can’t remember.  A possible reason for this is that I believe God is leading me to let go of those “hurts.” (Insider information: that was a truth God just shared with me in this moment.)

Don't get me wrong, I have many hurts and pains in my past, and I will not share them yet. In every instance, even though in some I was not walking with Jesus daily, I still have reason to praise Him for protecting me and loving me. 

God has protected me well from certain things that dredge up bad memories. He always makes me feel safe. I try to always rest in that truth of his protection and security.

When I first started this post with the title, “Holes” meaning I have spaces in my memory that I can’t remember. Once I thought how scary that I can’t recall certain facts and stories, but now I am praising God for His unfailing love for me. The truth is that it isn’t scary at all, because the Father allowed me to release those “hurts,” so He can comfort me and allow Him to draw nearer to me.

Some days I still feel lost and confused, but know that my Father is with me just waiting for me to call out and He will be there to reassure me. So the “holes” are no longer a real burden in my life because I know Jesus will piece things together when I need to see them. 

Father, I Cry Out

Its the first day off the fast and I can't explain how I feel. I definitely don't feel like myself. Today I hibernated all day. I stayed in my pajamas and only getting out of bed to refresh the internet and go to the bathroom. I know its a little insane. A lot happened this weekend and I was exhausted. I did eat so don't be worrying about that. 


Today my thoughts raced on my desires. How can I have such a moving weekend, filled with God and people that love and care about me, but then have a day that removes my energy and is just overall discouraging? How can I have desires that are not good? How can I desire these things? It doesn't make sense. Not at all.


Reflection after the fast, well I am stuck. Not sure what to think really. I took a shower this evening and just let the water pour over me. Its like I am numb. I have felt this way before. It is kind of debilitating. I don't do anything. 


Here I am. Then all of a sudden I start crying and I don't know why. I hear this song turn on in my head, coincidence? I think not. It was one lyric from the song, "We Cry Out," by Jesus Culture. My dreams have been especially weird lately, and I will not go into it here, but they aren't Godly. All I know is I have been crying out to God in them.

So many things that I just don't understand. Things that I may never understand. I push on. I push forward. I strive for something unknown to me. Some days its so scary, because I have no idea what lies ahead. That's when I have to tell myself that God is there and knows best. Trust in Him, Nicole. It's okay. You can be safe in His arms.


Lord,
I praise you for this day. I pray that you continue to pour Yourself out on me. I pray that You continue to help me work through this mess. Father, I cry out to you. Please continue to hold me. I am scared. I pray that you weave my dreams tonight as sleep will come soon. I pray that you continue to be with my friends and I pray for their health as everyone seems to be getting sick. I pray all these things in your name.


Amen.

Hope Again

Day 21:


WOW! What a weekend! God is so faithful!


There is so much that happened that I don't think I have time to explain it all. There were five main parts of the weekend.

1. The Main Sessions
2. Workshops
3. Worship
4. Small Groups 
5. Free Time/ Fun Time

To make it easier on myself because I still have yet to process everything God has introduced me to this weekend I will touch a little bit on all of the five things.

1. The Main Sessions: Oh my gosh! They were so good. The main speaker was Lee North, with Susie O'Berski on Saturday night. After hearing them both speak, I feel like a different person. Friday night, the topic was "Finding hope in a hopeless place." Lee talked about first how when we normally introduce ourselves we keep a lot hidden and we have 3 lists. The first list is what we normally say like our age, where we are from, what we are studying, simple stuff that doesn't get too deep into us. The second list is about what people might not know about us, like going a bit deeper, some things I put on that list was that I am introvert and my living situation. The third list is really intimate, goes into the depth of our souls. Its the list that shows our hurts or our deepest desires and its most often the list that nobody knows except your closest friends. Hebrews 6.19 was referenced, "We have this as a sure steadfast anchor of the soul, a hope that enters into the inner place behind the curtain." Then Saturday morning, the topic was about "Finding Hope in God's word," Lee talked about many bible verses that referenced hope. My personal favorite is Psalm 46:10, "Be still and know that I am God." She talked about how to meditate on God's word and why it is so important. Saturday evenings main session was brought by Susie, and the topic was "Jesus: Our Hope." The one thing that stood out from what she taught was the demonstration of putting on the armor of God. It also encouraged me when she says she does it daily. I think I should start doing it too. Today's message from Lee was about "Sharing our hope story." Let me tell you it was super good and the main points were to keep it short and sweet.
2. Workshops: We have 8 choices and can only choose 2. Such a hard choice to narrow it down. I chose to go to "Choices" led by Susie O'Berski. It was definitely God led me to that one. Now I realize why it was so important to come this weekend. So many good choices to make every day. Good reminder to make good choices so that God is glorified. The second one I went to was "A Man's Perspective on Proverbs 31 Woman" led by Pete Elenbaas. It was very interesting and yes it was written from a mother to her son. She was mainly stating that her son was doing things that were un-noble like and needed to clean up his act and he was screwing around with women that weren't right for him. So his mother told her son what a noble woman looked like hence Proverbs 31.10-31.
3. Worship: One of my favorite times of the whole retreat and well its just plain my favorite all the time. This was especially interesting since it was an all women's retreat and there were just 5-7 guys there in the whole place. So the singing was awesome, even though some people say it was high pitchy, I didn't notice it. If you stopped singing and just listened, it was the most wonderful sound I had ever heard. Other than worship, communion and offering were different. I like that women do things differently. God did make us that way. Communion was cool because instead of just taking the bread and juice, a sister had to present it to us and give us the cup and the bread. I loved that part. Offering was different too, if we had something to give we could, but then if you didn't have money, you could offer yourself to God as an offering.
4. Small Groups: This was just a great time that we could share as a campus, since there was only 8 of us from MSU, we were only one small group. Jessie led and it was great. A lot of the questions were either based off of the workshops or main sessions. They were good openers for great discussions and prayer.
5. Free Time/Fun Time: Well mine was pretty uneventful, I took a nap, being sick and an introvert leads to a less desirable time to just be by myself a lot of the time. I also had a ton of headaches this weekend. There were some crafts and activities going on throughout Saturday night, it was called the "Slumberless Party." However I didn't partake in the night, I was going on my fourth headache of the day and just wanted to submerge my self away. I went back to the cabin, took a shower, turned off the lights and read the Bible with a book light. I believe part of my headaches stemmed from the lights. I did enjoy being by myself and in the dark, but most of all I know I wasn't alone, because my Father was with me, caring for me, loving on me, and sharing my pain.

The last pieces of advice I have is this, there is hope. Hope in God, and hope with your sisters (or brothers). Look for the encouragement and stay in the light. But God will always be with you in the darkness too, guiding your steps and making your paths straight.

Some tips to gain the hope you desire:

1. Anchor your life in Christ
2. Tell someone
3. Find a life/prayer team

I am glad to be working on these three things throughout my journey with Christ. Also as Lee spoke about having a life/prayer team, and God showed me that I already have some really good people that fulfill those roles. I am so blessed. If you are reading this and you know who you are, first, God loves you, and thanks so much for being a blessing in my life.

Lord,

Thank you for this weekend! You knew I needed to go this weekend and used everyone to convince me to do so. Sorry it took me a while to get on board. You always know what is best. I praise you for modern medicine and the ability to heal my headache. Even in the storm I will praise you. I can never stop praising you for the continued blessings for my friends. They bring laughter and joy and encouragement. I thank you for that, so much. After this weekend, I want to lessen the control I have over my "hurts" and give them to you. I love that you hold me when I am in pain, sad, or just need a friend. Thank you for all the many lessons this weekend that I still have yet to reflect on. I also pray that you continue to encourage and teach my friends the lessons from this weekend. I also pray that you continue to work your healing on me as I have a cold and for my friends health as well. I pray all these things in your name.

Amen.

Breaking Down the Walls

Day 20:


One morning I woke up with this inspiration of breaking down the walls that is holding me back, from a better relationship with Jesus. Yes I think long and hard about things, a lot. I can't help it. It is the way I was wired. Over these past few weeks God has been showing me things in my life and some of the reasons why I am not as close as I can be to him as I could be.


One of those reasons is that I build walls. Walls can be good and bad. They can keep things out, but also keep things in. They can keep things safe and they can protect, but they can also prevent growth. I have been trying to learn when walls are useful and when they are not. I want to be protected, but I also want to be with God. I have to learn that God is also my protector, and using walls with Him prevents Him from doing His job.


I want to add a story from the Bible, about Joshua and the walls of Jericho.

Now Jericho was shut up inside and outside because of the people of Israel. None went out, and none came in. And the LORD said to Joshua, “See, I have given Jericho into your hand, with its king and mighty men of valor. You shall march around the city, all the men of war going around the city once. Thus shall you do for six days. Seven priests shall bear seven trumpets of rams' horns before the ark. On the seventh day you shall march around the city seven times, and the priests shall blow the trumpets. And when they make a long blast with the ram's horn, when you hear the sound of the trumpet, then all the people shall shout with a great shout, and the wall of the city will fall down flat, and the people shall go up, everyone straight before him.” So Joshua the son of Nun called the priests and said to them, “Take up the ark of the covenant and let seven priests bear seven trumpets of rams' horns before the ark of the LORD.” And he said to the people, “Go forward. March around the city and let the armed men pass on before the ark of the LORD.”

  And just as Joshua had commanded the people, the seven priests bearing the seven trumpets of rams' horns before the LORD went forward, blowing the trumpets, with the ark of the covenant of the LORD following them. The armed men were walking before the priests who were blowing the trumpets, and the rear guard was walking after the ark, while the trumpets blew continually. But Joshua commanded the people, “You shall not shout or make your voice heard, neither shall any word go out of your mouth, until the day I tell you to shout. Then you shall shout.” So he caused the ark of the LORD to circle the city, going about it once. And they came into the camp and spent the night in the camp.
   Then Joshua rose early in the morning, and the priests took up the ark of the LORD. And the seven priests bearing the seven trumpets of rams' horns before the ark of the LORD walked on, and they blew the trumpets continually. And the armed men were walking before them, and the rear guard was walking after the ark of the LORD, while the trumpets blew continually. And the second day they marched around the city once, and returned into the camp. So they did for six days.
   On the seventh day they rose early, at the dawn of day, and marched around the city in the same manner seven times. It was only on that day that they marched around the city seven times. And at the seventh time, when the priests had blown the trumpets, Joshua said to the people, “Shout, for the LORD has given you the city. And the city and all that is within it shall be devoted to the LORD for destruction. Only Rahab the prostitute and all who are with her in her house shall live, because she hid the messengers whom we sent. But you, keep yourselves from the things devoted to destruction, lest when you have devoted them you take any of the devoted things and make the camp of Israel a thing for destruction and bring trouble upon it. But all silver and gold, and every vessel of bronze and iron, are holy to the LORD; they shall go into the treasury of the LORD.” So the people shouted, and the trumpets were blown. As soon as the people heard the sound of the trumpet, the people shouted a great shout, and the wall fell down flat, so that the people went up into the city, every man straight before him, and they captured the city.

 Joshua 6.1-20 (ESV)

 If the Lord can tell Joshua how to tear down the walls of Jericho by marching and playing instruments, I believe He will do the same for me. To Him be the glory. I am still working on breaking down the walls and making it easier to have a better relationship with Jesus. I believe it is easier to break down the walls when you stop fighting God's arms and embrace His truth, love and mercy for us. Even this past week, I obeyed the voice of God and just look at where I am now.


Lord,
I praise you for this day. I praise you for your protection and that my walls don't need to be put up. I am so happy that you are in my life. Please continue to strip my walls away like you had Joseph tear the walls of Jericho down. I love that you continue to shower me with grace, truth and mercy. I pray for my friends this weekend as they are going to renew their hope for God. I am so excited for them. I pray all these things in your name.


Amen.

Not Enough? Think Again

Day 19:


Have you felt the pressures of feeling like you aren't good enough? Have those "enough" questions been racing through your head?


Enemy says:                             God says:
You aren't good enough.          You are good enough.
You don't belong.                     You belong with me in the Kingdom.
You don't fit in.                        You fit in because you are my child.
You aren't worth it.                  You are worth it because I love you.
You should give up.                 Keep persevering, you are needed 


                                                 for the harvest.
You aren't strong enough.        I am made strong in your weakness, 


                                                 giving you power.
You can't do this.                    All things are possible through me.


These are some examples of lies that we hear everyday as Christians, but do you see that God always has an answer to defeat what the enemy says. The enemy talks a lot of crap, don't listen. He is just a liar who thinks he is cool. Isn't that powerful alone just knowing that God is with us always? Fighting our battles, and protecting us from the enemy always. Through Him all things are possible and He is the creator of the Universe, which made us, and knows our every thought.


Isn't it great to know that he cares for us? That he knows every hair on our head and that we are worth more than a sparrow. I love that my friends can bring me back to these truths, yet I can also thank God for giving them the light to direct me out of the dark.


I always enjoy this video and watch it when I forget about how much God cares for me, or when I feel the darkness creeping in. Watch it below.

God is so amazing. I believe He has fought for me like in the video shows a time or two. Makes me smile just thinking about it.


Lord,
I praise you for this day. I praise you for giving me friends that shine your light on your truth. It is so helpful to distinguish between truth and lies when you bless me with great friends. I pray that you continue to shine your light in my life. Help guide my path and keep me from listening to the lies. You are great and powerful, help me to remind myself of this truth daily. I pray for my friends that they stay encouraged and protected from the enemy's lies. I pray all these things in your name.


Amen.

Standing Up

Day 18:


Today was a good but long day. I had a late night with cleaning my room, which took two hours, but at least I can say that my room is clean. I am pretty happy and stoked that I can sleep in my bed with nothing else but my sheets and pillows, and yes you can see my floor. I found so much stuff that I thought was lost, a watch my dad gave me for Christmas, and some CDs and tons of books. 


Today I took a stand. I had two good talks with two of my friends. I got things out in the open, hopefully now the healing process will start with one friend. The other was just really good to catch up, and get on the same page about how the ministry probably isn't the right place for me anymore. I have no regrets and I am glad that he understands where I am coming from. I feel good about my decision and I believe that God is helping me transition out of this ministry and get fed spiritually elsewhere. I am so excited that there are no hard feelings.


Today I also just couldn't study, after the two talks my mind set just wasn't in a good place and I waved the white flag early. However I did get a couple pages read and highlighted, so still some progress despite the delay.


Then I got dinner with a friend, started watching A Dolphin Tale, and then went to Meijer's to return pop cans. It was fun, we got done in record time to get home and watch the rest of A Dolphin Tale. Such a great movie, so inspiring. (You should watch it.) (NOW!) 


Now I am just sitting at my friend's house reflecting on my day and how great God has been today. 


Lord,
I praise you for this day. I praise for shining the sun outside. It was such a nice surprise as I tried to study today. Thank you again for blessing me with some really great friends. They really are amazing. Thank you for giving me the words to say today and always being there when I am nervous or scared. I love you Lord with all my heart, mind, and soul. I pray for the health of my friends and safe travels for those going on the women's retreat this weekend. I pray all these things in your name.


Amen.

Life is Good!

Day 17:


The title of today's post reminds me of one of my favorite songs by Stellar Kart. I tried to definitely be more positive today.


I didn't sleep well, but woke up and showered. Got ready for the day, and headed off to be the hands and feet of Jesus. I am always thankful for being wanted and needed at the church. Today I just did a lot of odds and ends. I made copies, hole-punched 25 packets of information, filed some cards, made some more CDs for the gift bags, and scanned some stuff into the computer.


I also visited a friend for a couple hours as Wednesday is our weekly chat and time to hang out. I always head over there after I help at the church. I love our weekly chats. We talk about what is going on during the week and what God is doing in our lives. It's always a fun time.


Then I went home and had dinner with my mom. We haven't had a lot of time to spend together. We went to Cheddar's in Lansing. We both had salads, and it tasted so good. I loved it and we both ate our entire meal. Then we just had a lovely chat. I miss talking with her and hanging out with her.


Today after I blog this I vow that my room will be somewhat clean before I go to my friend's house tomorrow. I am so excited for my weekly study date and movie time.


Today God showed me patience. It was a good opportunity and I love learning lessons from God. God is good. Also my mom and I talked about me being blessed with good friends. She told me that she thanks God everyday for them. I said I have just started to openly pray about thanking God for my many blessings of friends. 


Well this post didn't turn out as I had thought, just talked about my day and what God has blessed me.


Lord,
I praise you for this day. I thank you that I was able to go and be the hands and feet of Jesus and help out my church. Thank you for the opportunity to spend time with my friend and my mom today. I really appreciate the extra time that I was able to spend with them. Thank you for this beautiful weather today. I pray for the health of my friends and that they continue to be lights for Jesus. I pray that you keep them encouraged this week and continue to share your love and mercy with them. I love you so much. Thanks for all my friends. I pray all these things in your name.


Amen.